Be in Love Again

Busting the Myth that Self-Care is Selfish

 10-Week Self-Care Challenge

Week # 10

I am few days late in posting the final weeks challenge. I almost never procrastinate so when I do I pay attention to WHY! I believe it is because I have enjoyed this 10-week journey with you so much that I don’t want it to end. I must admit finding an appropriate video each time was a challenge but enlarge it was a lot of fun. I hope you also enjoyed the series.

This final week is about a topic that is very dear to my heart. CREATIVITY! It is true that we are all creative. I did a 90 day blog challenge once to prove it. I blogged everyday on something I did that was creative.  You can read about it here. I was not artistic but I was fully me and I had fun!

What is creativity? According to Dictionary.com it is; the ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like, and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc.; originality, progressiveness, or imagination: the need for creativity in modern industry; creativity in the performing arts.

You do not need to be an artist, dancer, actor, or vocalist. You don’t even need to play an instrument to be creative. You only need to be you. Your thoughts are like no one else. Isn’t that an interesting idea? No two thoughts are exactly alike, yet we are always looking to others to validate our original ideas. It is a bit ironic, don’t you think? You judge your creativity by some other person’s standards.  Your unique self never gets a chance to express all it is. Today we are going to change all of that because starting now you are going to have the most creative week of your life. I give you permission to be all that you can be. Do you?

“Sometimes you've got to let everything go - purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything . . . whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you'll find that when you're free, your true creativity, your true self comes out.”    Tina Turner

Exercise Week Ten:

Spend the entire week being creative. You can use any method that you enjoy. Write, cook, invent, or make a product such as; jewelry, crocheted scarf, knit some mittens with your unique color scheme, the possibilities are endless. You are a creative soul. Express it in your own unique way.

For those who are saying, “I have no idea where to start.” Here are a couple of ways to jump start your creativity.

1.  Set an intention to come up with an idea on how you want to create this week then go out for a meditative walk. Expect an answer by the time you return. See what wants to show up.

      2.  Answer these questions in a journal:

•      What do I love to do that fills me with excitement?
  
•      What did I love to do as a child?
  
•      What is my soul longing to express?

The most important thing with this creativity exercise is; DO NOT JUDGE. Let it be a full expression of you.  You cannot do it wrong. Have Fun!

I want to congratulate you on finishing the 10-week challenge.

What did you notice? 

•  Did you feel like you were being selfish?  
  
• Do you have any new thoughts about self-care?
  
•   How will you use what you have learned during our time together to move your life in a positive direction?

If anyone wants to chat about their experience then I would love to set up a call. Don’t let yourself get overly busy and forget to follow your heart when it comes to self-care. Be true to YOU!

 

 

By Judith Geiger

Be in Love Again Coach

Busting the Myth that Self-Care is Selfish

10-Week Self-Care Challenge

Week # 9

Get up this week and get out! You have spent over eight weeks looking inward and caring for your body, mind and spirit. Today we look out and find something we can offer to another that will fill us with pure delight! It is very possible that before your eight week journey (so far) of self-care you were drained and even resentful of doing so much for others. If you have been following the program it might feel by now that you have enough reserve to share. When your own cup is full, only then, can you share the extra with delight. I hope you are feeling this way now. If not go back and do more for yourself until you do. For those who are ready let’s begin.

What organization could use your services, what rescue group needs a helping hand or what neighbor could use cheering up? I bet you do not have to think very long before you know just what act of service will fill you with delight this week. Could you babysit for a tired mom or one who wants to exercise but the toddlers are always in the way. What about going to the local animal shelter and walking a lonely dog? You could get your exercise at the same time.

To keep a lamp burning we have to keep putting oil in it.

Mother Theresa

Exercise week nine:

This week please carry out at least one act of service. You can make it a single act by helping someone you know or call up and volunteer at a place of your choice. The other option is to join a service group for ongoing acts of service.What ever you choose remember to use your heart and make it a pure joy!

One of my favorite organizations is Zonta International for women. “Founded in 1919, Zonta International is a global organization of executives and professionals working together to advance the status of women worldwide through service and advocacy.”

The young woman in this video is a wonderful role model. She started her acts of service before leaving high school. She is an inspiration to me. What about you?

 

 

By Judith Geiger

Be in Love Again Coach

Busting the Myth that Self-Care is Selfish

 10-Week Self-Care Challenge

Week # 8

This is going to be a very exciting week because you are going on a Retreat at home. It is possible to carve out that precious quiet time needed to do this with a little, or in some cases a lot of planning. You may need to send the kids to grandmas or make other arrangements. It might be necessary to tell all the adults in your life that for at least 3 hours this week you will not be available.

You might be wondering how you retreat at home. It is very simple and I will show you how.  First you carve out your space of time. I suggest no less than 3 hours but a full day would be better. Decide what kind of retreat you want to take. You can retreat indoors, outdoors or a bit of both. Then you need to decide on some things that you love to do when you spend time in reflection. Do you like soft music, long strolls in the park, long long long hot bubble baths, or some inspirational reading?  Who doesn’t love to make a vision board? I often teach about vision boards and there importance in my workshops and retreats but here you will find a simple explanation if you need one. Or contact me for more details. I will go over it with you. http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Vision-Board

When deciding what to ‘DO’ on retreat just remember that LESS is MORE. You could simply rest and reflect if that is what you are longing to do. One rule is nothing electronic allowed. No computers, televisions, video games and absolutely NO phone. You are simply unplugged. If you want to play an acoustic instrument feel free. Especially if you have a native flute like the one you will hear in the video below.  This is time for you to connect very deeply with your own inner knowing, to ask questions that are important in your life and to receive answers. 

 "Sometimes it is like a tiny voice in the wilderness; at other times it is loud, clear, and direct. When we learn to stop, listen, and follow the guidance that it provides, we experience bliss, or at the very least, a deep sense of personal fulfillment." - Hal Zina Bennett

 

Exercise Week Eight:

Go on a 3-hour retreat at home. Wear comfortable and loose clothing. Gather needed materials such as, bottled water, pillows, blankets (to make a cozy nest), candle, journal or pad, pens and colored markers, supplies for vision board (if doing one), inspirational reading (poetry), healthy snacks, bath salts, powerful quotes, music etc.  Set an intention for your retreat. What do you want the outcome to be? Is there a pressing question you want guidance on or do you simply want to be more rested. Write it down in your journal. Now light your candle and speak your intention out loud. There is great power in the spoken word. You may want to set up a little alter and put meaningful pieces on it as a reminder of the sacredness of retreating. The next 3-hours you will do whatever you chose to do as long as you are connecting to your inner peace. Yoga is a wonderful choice or just Journaling your thoughts can be revealing. If you go outdoors for a walk then slip a powerful quote you love in one pocket and a question you want an answered in the other. By the time you return you will have more clarity and possible insights! Whatever you do simply ENJOY YOUR TIME…YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!!

Five questions to jump start your journaling. Don’t forget to add pictures or draw your own.

1. How would my life be different if I took on 3 new habits this year? Or let go of 3 unwanted ones?
2. What one thing can I do to jump start my project, career or life?
3. What do I need to let go of?
4. What do I need more of?
5. What old dream have I left untouched for too long?

 

Listen to this video before you begin or as background to your retreat. Only computer allowed. 

 

MEDITATION-RELAXATION-Nature sounds-Native American music-tranquil images-By artist Johnnie Lawson

By Judith Geiger

Be in Love Again Coach

Busting the Myth that Self-Care is Selfish

10-Week Self-Care Challenge

Week # 7

Now that you have just spent a week being quiet in meditation I am going to ask you to add play to your day. Yes, I did say play! When was the last time you set an intention to simply play?

I opened the window here in Central NY. yesterday and I could smell springtime. Here we always smell Spring long before it actually arrives. The air warms enough during the day to thaw the ground so the earth gives off this luxurious smell. It smells like a mixture between clean laundry hung outdoors and worms. Sorry, it is the only way I can describe it, but it takes me straight back to my childhood.

Strong Spring winds are perfect for kites. Have you ever held a kite string and felt it tug at your heart? It can take you into magical state that allows 'joy' to wash over you. As the wind whips and spins your kite a huge smile arises out of nowhere. The tail looks like it is dancing. It really is fun. Try it!                                  

 

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”

George Bernard Shaw

 

Exercise week seven:

PLAY!  Just play at least a little bit each day. It can be anything at all that you can imagine would be fun. Some people (me included) like board games and cards. Others might bike or fly a kite. The only criteria is do not multi-task while playing. No cell phones or laptops allowed within 100 feet of your play ground. Good self-care this week is to have fun!

Dolphins instinctively know how to play. Watch the video and get inspired!

By Judith Geiger

Be in Love Again Coach

Busting the Myth that Self-Care is Selfish

10-Week Self-Care Challenge

Week # 6

I want to congratulate you for taking such good care of YOU. Although at this point you may only be reading about self-care. Even if you are not doing the exercises my intention is that you will be gaining insights into what is possible. For those who have not only read but applied the exercises I would love to hear from you. What has been your experience so far? Has anything shifted for you? Are you able to see how little time it actually does take to focus attention on your needs? Does it easily allow you to reap major benefits? Tell us about your experience in the comment section of this blog.

I want to turn our focus to week six as I tell you about my new experience with meditation. If you have been with me for a long time you know that I have written about meditation before and confessed to struggle with it. That is until a few weeks ago when I learned Transcendental Meditation. It is a truly a passion of mine now. I feel like I did 30 years ago when I quit smoking. At that time, I told everyone I came into contact with how great I felt because I was not smoking anymore. Now I am telling them how great I feel because I have finally learned to meditate in a way that is joyful for me.

“The Transcendental Meditation technique has been shown to be the most effective health and wellness program there is. Nothing we know of is as effective for promoting good health and reducing health-care utilization and medical expenses.” Kulrett  Chaudry M.D. Neurologist

Exercise week six:

Meditation as a self-care practice: Spend a little time checking out meditation if you don’t already practice it. If you already meditate then keeps doing it each day this coming week. If not, there are many kinds of meditation and I hear they are all wonderful. Find the one that appeals to you and give it a try or just sit quietly with no noise or distractions for at least 10-mintes each day.

 “One's action ought to come out of an achieved stillness: not to be mere rushing on.”   D.H. Lawrence

For more information on Transcendental Meditation you can visit their web site here.

 

By Judith Geiger

Be in Love Again Coach

Busting the Myth that Self-Care is Selfish

 

10-Week Self-Care Challenge

Week # 5

“I thought I knew all I needed to know about self-care yet following this challenge has been an inspiration to do ‘more’ for myself. I loved my mid-day bath, dancing in the kitchen and going on my ‘Self’ date. Reading this each week has given me permission to do more of what I love.” This is what I heard from a woman moments ago about the 10-week self-care challenge. Where are you on this journey? I often hear, “I would love to do it but I simply don’t have the time. I am running from sunrise to sunset.”  The truth is if you are too busy for a little self-care then you probably need it the most! Start today and do not let anything stop you.

You are worth it!

This week I want to talk to you about the power of nature. Most people when given a chance to go outside find they are drawn to certain things in nature. Some people love trees and could spend all day sitting under one like Buddha did. Others find riding horse back over a field at death defining speeds is a pure delight that makes them feel alive. Two completely different experiences yet they are both connecting with nature.

Being in nature is something I need to do every day to feel at peace. If life starts getting over the top with daily pressure I go outside. If I only have a minute I still go out. When that is not possible I will open a window and let the outside in. Hearing a bird call or feeling the breeze puts an instant smile on my face. If I am working though what feels like an unsolvable problem I will put on my sneakers or hiking boot and go for a walk. I find answers to my most pressing questions in nature.

“I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.” ~John Muir, 1913

Exercise week five:

Simply go outside and STOP. Listen to the whisper from the wind. What do you hear, see or smell? What do you feel drawn to do? This week go outside as much as possible. You can go walking on the beach or visit the zoo. This is your customized outside adventure and I really want you to get creative. I know what I love to do outside but I want to hear about what YOU love to do. Personally I am going snowshoeing at dusk. I am hoping the stars will come out. Post in the comment box what you will do. Encourage yourself and each other to enjoy the self-care journey.

Watch this video to remember how beautiful nature truly is!

 

 

By Judith Geiger

Be in Love Again Coach

Busting the Myth that Self-Care is Selfish

10-Week Self-Care Challenge

Week # 4

I hope you danced! I had a three way dance myself starting with my granddaughter, Athena, who is 4-years-old.  We were dancing, laughing and having a great time in the kitchen after lunch when Gretchen, my large standard poodle decided to join us. Have you ever danced with a hyper poodle with long toenails? It wasn’t pretty but it did make us laugh!!

Leaving the dance floor (for now) I want to offer a few words about why we are engaging in this self-care challenge. Often life gets so busy and stressed that women forget about themselves. When I ask women what they really need, it come down to feeling stronger about ‘who’ they are, in other words, having more self esteem and confidence.  I believe the corner stone to building a powerful and sustaining ‘Self’ starts with really good self-care.  Your joy and needs are easier to access when you are giving yourself permission to get in touch with your authentic ‘Self’.

Now in week four we are going to do just that. Tap into your joy and what nurtures you. The way you will accomplish this is by going on a ‘Self’ date. How many times have you gone out with someone either on a romantic date or just lunch with the girls, when you wished that you had chosen a different movie, a better restaurant or a different activity all together?  It started with them asking “what do you want to do?” and ended with doing what they wanted to do. No worries on a ‘self’ date you get to do exactly what you want because you are in charge and “NO” you cannot bring a friend. If you cannot decide what you want then you may want to hire a coach or other professional to help you tap into that part of yourself.

The most powerful thing I did many years ago (immediately after my mom’s funeral which was only one month after my husband and I separated) was to take myself on a weekend vacation. This was something my youngest daughter would do all the time but everyone had a fit when mom wanted to do it. It didn’t matter, I did it anyway. I even took myself to a fancy restaurant and was especially catered to by the waiter and staff.  I brought home a stuffed bear that sets on my bed to this day to remind how such a simple act changed my life. Not all at once but over time I began to understand that self-care held the keys to my freedom.

Exercise week four:

Have a lot of fun this week first planning and then going on your ‘Self’ date. You can do anything at all as long as you do it alone. Go to the latest movie, out to dinner, a great play or how about roller skating?  Remember it is your choice. If money is tight look in the paper for free community activities. No time? Then make it fairly short, only remember thinking you have no time might be your way of sabotaging yourself. Stay alert and tap into what best serves you. Your self-care can become the new habit you have been longing for. Remember what Wayne Dyer says, “Excuses Be Gone.”  Ask yourself this simple question, “What do I really want to do?” then do it! Have fun and create a new habit!

“Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.”

Mark Twain

 

By Judith Geiger

Be in Love Again Coach

Busting the Myth that Self-Care is Selfish

10-Week Self-Care Challenge

Week # 3

Today begins week three and by now I hope you are feeling some positive benefits of self-care. I know when I am practicing good self-care I feel more connected to all of life and deeply energized. What are you noticing?

How was your water experience? Did you try anything new? I learned a great deal about loving water from Margot Datz in her book A Survival Guide for a Landlocked Mermaid. Last March I did a blog interview with her- read about her self-discovery after her 20 year marriage ended in divorce. She painted mermaids that were an expression of how she felt. Her work is outstanding and extremely insightful.

 

As we turn our attention to week three I want to invite you to go back in your memory—all the way back to your crib to the age where you could just barely stand with the help of the side bars. Now your mother or dad puts on a song that is really rockin’….DID YOU DANCE? Come on, admit it! Your knees were bouncing up and down as your bum rocked side to side. It came naturally!!!

How long has it been since you danced in that way?

Exercise week 3:

 Put on some music and dance. It is scientifically proven to relieve stress and I have heard it reduces age lines. Okay, maybe not the age lines but it sure feels good! This week dance every day. It does not take long. Put on a song and dance in the kitchen with the dog while you fix dinner or go out to a night club. It is your choice but just dance.

 "Dance like no one is watching
Sing like no one is listening
Love like you've never been hurt
Live like it's Heaven on Earth"

Mark Twain 

One of my very best friends sent me the song in this video a few years ago along with the book. On the inside cover she simply wrote, just because. Take Linda’s advice and dance just because.

 

 

By Judith Geiger

Be in Love Again Coach

Busting the Myth that Self-Care is Selfish

10-Week Self-Care Challenge
 Week # 2

Please read week one before you begin here.

We made it to week two in what felt like record time. How was your experience of gratitude? Did you come up with 70 things or more to be grateful for? In case you are thinking that you are now done you might want to reconsider when you read what a psychology professor at University of California, Davis (editor-in-chief of The Journal of Positive Psychology) had to say about the results of several studies conducted with over 2,000 people. 

 “The benefits from counting blessings are tangible, emotionally and physically," he said. "People are 25 percent happier and more energetic if they keep gratitude journals, have 20 percent less envy and resentment, sleep 10 percent longer each night and wake up 15 percent more refreshed, exercise 33 percent more and show a 10 percent drop in blood pressure compared to persons who are not keeping these journals."  I vote to keep going but of course it is up to you. 

With our hearts full of gratitude we will now turn to week number two. This week the word is water. We all know the benefits of drinking plenty of water for our health but today we are talking about the benefits of putting our bodies into the water.  

When I attended retreat coach training in Colorado, a few years ago, I had the great pleasure of learning about and experiencing watsu. Anyone know what that is? It is a type of underwater massage. I have never experienced anything like it.  Here is an excerpt of what I wrote about it in a previous blog post. 

“I was instantly struck by her deep kind eyes. All of my fear of water just melted away and I knew I would be in capable hands. She took my head in her hands and tested my body to see how well I floated on my own. Rather like a rock. So she put floats on my legs to assist her in keeping me above water as she guided my moves of floating and being led into what I can only describe as a stretching water dance!” You can read the entire blog post here.

Watch the youtube video  Introduction to Watsu  by Harold Dull, for the full effect.

Exercise week two:

This week we explore how being in water is both physically and emotionally healing. You can do this in any way that is available to you. The ocean is ideal, your own hot tub can free you from worries or at the very least take a long bubble bath. I use lavender scented sea salt in my bath and lavender soothes me to sleep at night. Try some on a tissue under your pillow.

Those who can experience a watsu will have memories for years to come. I invite you this week to be in water at least three times and do it by first setting an intention. Is there anything you want clarity on in your life? Set an intention before entering the water and be very present with what your wise self has to say.

 

"It is never too late to become the person you want to be." ~George Eliot

By Judith Geiger

Be in Love Again Coach

Busting the Myth that Self-Care is Selfish

  

 10-Week Self-Care Challenge

 

Week # 1

 

Join me, Coach Judith, every Saturday for the next ten weeks. I will post a new challenge each week and at the end of that time we will look back and see if any of us still believe self-care is selfish. Let’s bust that old myth once and for all.

Remember when your mother said things like, “You need to play nice and not be selfish.” You heard this or more…over…and over…and over. Many factors growing up, from religion to sibling rivalry, made up who you are today. Unfortunately for some of us, we have developed a huge bucket of guilt whenever we even think we would like to do something wonderful for ourselves. Not because we deserve it, but just because we want to. Wow, I don’t know about you but that sounds like freedom to me. Do you want freedom? Do you want to treat yourself with care and respect? If yes, then please join me on my 10–week journey. It will open up your world to new adventures and it might even send that guilt packing. Now wouldn’t that be nice?

Our first week’s adventure begins today with a very simple exercise. For the next week, if you are willing to take on the self-care challenge, we are going to explore gratitude and what being grateful, on a very deep level, will do to prepare you for the bigger self-care challenges ahead.

Exercise week one:

Spend 5-10 minutes each day writing down what you are grateful for. You can do this at any time of the day but I find it most powerful either in the early morning or just before bed. Take your time to get into a reflective mood. One very important part of this exercise is that you cannot write the same thing twice for a full week. Write at least 10 things each day. As the week goes on you are going to have to dig deeper and deeper. By the end of the week you will have 70 things you are grateful for. Sound impossible? Get creative or ask your loved ones for ideas. Look not only in your environment but also inside of you! Most of all…have fun. 

You can use a special Journal for your gratitude list or simply a notepad. However you do it just remember once you start, you might not want to stop. Make the journal big enough to keep going. Filling the pages with what you are grateful for will be the beginning of your own self-care journey to fill your own cup. When it is full to the top, you will have more to give others.

"There is a calmness to a life lived in Gratitude, a quiet joy."

Author: Ralph H. Blum

 

Please leave comments here or email me with any thoughts or challenges. I always love to hear from you.

Watch this wonderful video by Deepak Chopra for inspiration. You might want to watch it each day to get into your reflective mood.

I will post your next challenge on Saturday Feb. 6^th, so please check back.

 

By Judith Geiger

Be in Love Again Coach