Be in Love Again

Attract Abundance with Clutter Clearing

What does clutter clearing mean? So many times you hear these words and think about your dreaded messy garage or closet.You close your eyes and imagine it clean and you smile for a moment, then your daydream quickly becomes a nightmare when you realize the work it will take to accomplish it. Would it help to know that every time you do a real clutter clearing you are actually inviting more abundance into your life? Really!  If you are ready to change your life and create new opportunities, then the best place to start is to declutter. Let me explain.

It is a proven fact that everything is energy. In order to bring what you desire into your life (new energy) it is necessary to let go of the old.  This means it is time to declutter your life. You do this in several ways. The most obvious is to declutter your home and office. Also, it is great to declutter your car, your email inbox, even your calendar (where are you over booked and weighed down?). The more you are able to let go of the lighter you will feel. This is what creates that space for abundance to start flowing in!

I know an author who once said, “I know every time I am ready to write a new book, because I will get inspired to do a complete clutter clearing. And I do!” Her books are awesome, because she creates space for them to come in.

So where to begin? I always tell my clients to start small. If you clean out one small drawer completely, then stop and reward yourself by doing something else for a while, you will have begun.  Then return to that drawer and open it. Look inside and take a moment to connect with what it feels like to have it cleaned out and neat. Let this inspire you to do the next small thing. Before you know it you will have the whole family out in the garage for a cleaning party. Make it fun by playing some music and dancing, after you have cleared enough room in the middle of the floor.

Don’t let this happen to you, don’t get caught up in the mindset of I might need it someday. If you have not used it in six months or love it dearly, let it go. Sell it or give it to charity for that extra good feeling. By the time you are done you will be feeling over the top good and remember that is also what attracts abundance, feeling good!

Consider for a moment if you are going through a divorce or major breakup, simply keeping his or her things around (for whatever reason) keeps you stuck where you are. If you are ready to move on with your life then let that stuff go.

If you are still procrastinating and unable to make the decisions about what to keep and what to let go of, then you can do the box system. Get three large boxes and on the first one mark Keep, the next Give Away and the last Undecided. You can later file or find a new best place for the keep box items. Donate or sell the items in the second box and that third box,  the one you are still agonizing over, if you have not missed it in a month, let it go!

Just keep in mind if you don’t love it or use it let it go!

Still can't seem to get started? Hire a coach who will help you stay motivated and get the job done with ease.

 

 

By Judith Geiger

Be in Love Again Coach

 

Sexy After 50…for Women Only

When we see young people who marry too soon we often say, “As long as they are happy.” But these are the words I heard recently from Sally who had just returned from her mother’s wedding. “As long as she is happy” she muttered with embarrassment. You see, her mom is 83!

I say, “CONGRATULATIONS” to her mom. Women today are actually sexier as they grow older. Have you noticed that? It is almost a revolution. Partly because of all the cosmetics and other benefits women have in this new age but mostly because we now give ourselves permission to BE SEXY! Recently in a conversation with a woman in her 50s she divulged to me that she wants to be sexy well into her 80s. Why not? Let’s explore what is possible.

Three steps to a sexy you:

• There is nothing sexier than a confident woman. When a woman is over 50 and walks into a room with grace, knowledge and a confident air that shouts, she knows who she is and why she has come… heads will turn.  There is a sparkle in her eye that cannot be denied. She can talk easily to anyone in the room and often she will have her choice of partners when she leaves.

• Flirting with intention. When a woman has mastered the playfulness of flirting she can command a room. There have been books written about this but practice is the mother of invention when it comes to flirting. Let your eyes do your talking and do not forget to smile. Remember flirting is sexy; you must feel into it. A great place to practice is the grocery store.

          Just remember these four steps: 

                         1.  Eye contact that lasts 2-4 seconds.  

                         2.  A smile that warms his heart.

                         3.  Ask him a question to get the conversation going.  

                         4.  Work the room. Do not stay too long in one place. Flirt and move on, later return and check-in   and move on. It is part of the allure.

• It is all about the lingerie. You knew in your heart that this was the next step because when you feel sexy you are sexy. It does not matter if you are wearing jeans or an evening gown; it is all about the underwear. Experiment with what works for you. Black, purple, maybe pink? It really is a creative adventure. When was the last time you bought a garter belt? Yes, they are back in style. No matter your size, your shape or your age, beautiful lingerie makes you sexy. Invest in some today! Yes, even when you are going to be the only one to see it. It is all about how YOU feel! Have fun!!!

By Judith Geiger

Be in Love Again Coach

 

Are You Dating too Soon after Divorce?

Hope springs eternal! Every spring my husband David and I resume our evening walks. As we stroll along I am like a little kid. I breathe in the warm air and ask with excitement, “when will the leaves come out on our trees?” Each year David shakes his head and tells me it will be a very long time yet! This makes me sad because I am so anxious after a long cold winter to see the greenery and feel energized. This is often how you feel after a divorce. You just want to feel good again! NOW!

There was no waiting last year! I was astonished when I looked out at our 100 year old maple tree and the leaves were fully out. David cautioned it was too early when I raced through the house shouting “I didn’t have to wait this year”. Soon my joy turned to horror when an overnight killer frost struck. My beloved maple tree was shedding green leaves as if it were fall while the remaining leaves shriveled and turned brown.

Many trees especially in higher elevations were in trouble. Some did die while others had to begin again. In a couple of weeks, new tiny leaves were beginning to open as the trees struggled just to survive. They were starting over because the leaves were needed to nourish the trees though the long hot summer.

I now understood David’s warning, “Don’t be in a hurry, nature has to take her time.”Through the dormant months the tree grows strong and prepare for the next season. When given adequate time to prepare and the weather is just right… the trees will flourish.

What a great metaphor for dating after divorce. If you rush your season (date before you are prepared) it increases the chances you will have to begin again. If you are longing to ‘Be in Love Again’ then increase your chances for a committed and lasting relationship by taking the time to prepare. Know without a doubt who you are and what you want in a potential partner. You can do this by taking the Conscious Dating and Readiness Program. To learn more click here. Gift yourself with the program. You are worth it!

By Judith Geiger

Be in Love Again Coach

Keep Your First Date Short

Hearing the phone ring in the locked house Mary fumbled with her keys while balancing three bags of groceries. Silently she whispered “please let it be Steve”. Breathless and happy she heard his voice, “I’m calling to ask you to accompany me to my office party at the Ritz for dinner and dancing next Saturday?” Without hesitation she said, “I would love to.” Setting the phone back in the cradle her smile was soon replaced with horror.

She knew nothing about Steve other than he was a successful lawyer with a brilliant smile that could melt a heart from fifty feet. Mary had been introduced to him last Friday while out with friends. Suddenly a million questions ran through her head? What would she wear was soon replaced with what would they talk about? Do they have anything in common? Who will be there? What had she said yes to?

In Mary’s excitement to date Steve she had been overcome by desire. She was not balancing her head with her heart. Her heart was in charge all the way! Mary spent the following several nights until Saturday with very little sleep. Let’s explore what could have made this a better experience for Mary.

 

Three steps to balance your head with your heart:

1.    Be prepared. While Mary was juggling the grocery bags there was very little time to make decisions. Plan your strategy for dating someone new in advance. Then, when you are caught off guard, you can use your head along with your heart with greater ease.

2.    Keep your first date short. This is a golden rule that if you follow will defuse many potential problems about dating before they start. Meet for coffee or a walk. You can learn a great deal in fifteen to twenty minutes. You will be building a strong foundation for your new relationship right from the start. You might even decide in that time that your man with the great smile is not for you but, if you are still interested, you can then prepare your strategy for your next date. Then there will be only good surprises not the kind that keeps you up at night.

3.    Know what you want in a relationship. Do the work ahead of time. Have a clear relationship plan that helps you know when you are a match and when you are not. Do not worry that it takes anything away from the spontaneity. Quite the opposite actually! You will have tools and resources that make dating fun and will assist you to find your ideal partner. One who is committed and in alignment with you. It really doesn’t get any better than that.

 

By Judith Geiger

Be in Love Again Coach

First Date: Who pays for dinner?

Lisa’s heart longs to dine at her favorite upscale restaurant. Not wanting to go there with friends or alone she has not been there since her divorce three years ago. Working long hours lately as a corporate executive she is excited about a night on the town.  She hopes her special restaurant will be the perfect place for her and her new friend to get to know each other.  She suggests they meet there at 8pm next Friday and she will make the reservations since it is hard to get in and they know her.

After having a lovely time ordering everything from wine to dessert the bill arrives. Her heart jumps into her throat. Until that moment she had not given a thought to how they would pay. Her mind races, she had a wonderful time and really likes Fred. Will he be offended if she offers to pay? Can he even afford such a luxury? Why did she not think of this before now?

She tells herself not to panic and leans over and gently says, “This is my treat since it was my idea and you were kind enough to accept my suggestion. Next time we will go to your favorite place and you can treat me.” He smiles and agrees and she feels relieved that it worked out so well.  Or did it? She still is not sure how Fred really feels, but for the moment he is smiling and the bill is paid.

Who pays is a really big deal! For divorced women, who have not dated in a long time, the dating world often feels foreign. Gone are the days that men automatically pay for all the dates, yet this is still a very fine line, especially with a mature crowd. Balance and open communication are the magic keys to make it all work. Lisa could have prevented the problem from ever arising if she had communicated her desire to visit her favorite restaurant and explained ahead of time that she wanted to treat. This would have given Fred a chance to accept or decline.

Even though the ‘who pays’ conversation might feel awkward with a new date, it sure beats that heart in the throat feeling when the check arrives.

You can plan your dates and talk about who pays easily by keeping your early dates short. Meet for coffee or a walk in the park. Short first dates offer you wonderful opportunity to communicate and make decisions about what is important to both of you. When both of you put all of your cards on the table, dating is fun and rewarding!

 

By Judith Geiger

Be in Love Again Coach

 

False Beliefs about Dating Again

False Beliefs about Dating Again

1. You date someone more than once and there is an automatic assumption (by you, him or others) that you are an instant committed couple. Nothing could be farther from the truth! It takes time to establish a new relationship and you truly do not know someone that soon, no matter how strong the chemistry pull might be.

2. You have ‘FUN’ together so you must be a good match. Wrong again! Having fun, laughing and enjoying similar things are all great first steps, but it takes so much more to be in a long term committed relationship.

3. It is somehow WRONG to date more than one person. Who made that one up? Maybe it was your mother or dad who said you were “loose” if you had too many boyfriends. Just another false statement. How will you ever find Mr. Right if you only date one or two guys?

4. I must sleep with him by the second date or he will leave me. Then you must let him leave, if that is the case. Most likely it is not, but if it is then he is not your ideal partner and you are better off that he is gone.

5. Now that I am older, no one will find me attractive! Let’s put this one to rest right now. Your ideal partner is out there looking for YOU just as you are. Believe that because it is true. You have all of the qualities he is looking for. You just need to step out from behind the curtain, you know, the one you are hiding behind. Then he will be able to find you.

6. I can’t date without knowing the NEW rules. It has been so long since I dated that I am sure the rules have changed. Then make up your own rules. This is your life and you are allowed to live it your way. When in doubt, ASK your date what is important to him, then in turn tell him what is important to you. Communication is so important in any relationship.

These are just a few of the beliefs that hold you back from dating again. Let 2011 be the best year of your life. Set strong intentions and then take bold action to create a life of your dreams.

by Judith Geiger

Be in Love Again Coach

What to Ask Your Date

 
What is important to you when choosing a life partner? Do you ever ask yourself this question when you are preparing for a date? Or are you more worried about what you will wear and whether or not it is a good or a bad hair day?

How we dress and present ourselves in public is important. I'm sure you have heard about the principle 'dress for success'. This would apply to dates as well as to your career. What we don't hear very much about is how to determine if your date is actually a good potential life partner, in other words, are you well matched? A very simple way to determine this is to ask the right questions. The exercise below is meant to spark awareness. Learn what you might want to ask your next date.

1.     Ask yourself, "What are the things that would be 'deal breakers' for me with a potential partner? What would make me have to walk away from the relationship?"

Examples:

• Addiction issues
• Dishonest
• Does not like kids or animals
• Financial differences
• Not respectful

What questions could you gracefully ask during an evening to begin to determine if there are any deal breakers present?  Come up with at least 10 questions to have handy. Spend a little time journaling about what is important to you and your list of questions will grow with ease.

The reason you want to determine as soon as possible if there are any deal breakers is because you do not want to spend a lot of time with the wrong person. You will want to be available when the right partner comes along and you cannot be available if you are caught up in a dead-end relationship.

2.   Be aware of your deal breakers through observation. Pay close attention to your date's interactions throughout the evening. How does he treat the waiter or waitress? If phone calls come in, how does he interact with those he knows well? Is he short and curt or giving and caring? No, I am not asking you to  analyze the entire date, but keep your radar high to pick up the red flags that are very much in your view.

3.   Don't forget to trust your inner knowing. Your intuition can tell you a great deal about your date if you allow it to. What is your gut trying to say? If it feels a little bit off or wrong, it probably is!

You will be attractive in a new way and on a very deep level when:

• You are clear about what you want.
• Your values are clear and in alignment with your  potential partner.
• You become aware of all of your deal breakers (your requirements).
• You are able to live your life purpose and your vision.

By Judith Geiger

Be in Love Again Coach