Be in Love Again

Valentine Love

 

A memory of many years ago filled my heart when I was thinking about what I would like to write for Valentine's Day. I remember very clearly that I had just finished an idealistic romance novel. As I sat the book down on my night stand I was consumed with a very sudden and extremely powerful grief. I could not imagine ever finding love like it was portrayed in the novel. It must have hurt me a great deal because this was a very long time ago and I can easily still feel the pain of that moment.

After many more years of personal development I came to realize that I had been defining my happiness by someone else's dreams! I must have thought that if my life did not look like a Danielle Steel novel, then I must be doing it wrong.  That could not be further from the truth. We each have our own definition for happiness and it is ours for the taking. We need never wait to be happy again. That is why I am writing this for all of you who do not have a beloved this Valentine's Day or if you do, they are not meeting your expectations.

So let's celebrate YOU this Valentine's Day by taking yourself on a date! No more waiting to be happy. Buy yourself flowers and have them delivered to your office or home. I find receiving flowers more fun if a delivery person actually brings them to me rather than picking them up at a local store. Then take yourself on an adventure and do something that you have not done in a long time. Maybe you want to go dancing or better yet, skydiving! Be creative and treat the most important person in your life with love-yourself. If you take a friend along then remember the rule of silence when it comes to complaining about what you don't have. This is a celebration of what you do have. Be happy and celebrate life!

Love yourself as you would want a partner to love you. The law of attraction in action! Remember we attract to ourselves what we are giving out.

No one talks about being happy better than Marci Shimoff in her book, Happy for No Reason.  I highly recommend everyone read it. See her video on youtube.

Happy Valentine's Day!

 

By Judith Geiger

Be in Love Again Coach

Today is 'THE' Day

 “Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I will begin today to create the life of my dreams.”

 How many times have you said that? I know, I know, but let’s take a good look at that statement and what it could really mean to your life.

How many times have you started to exercise only to have that treadmill, stair climber or rowing machine collect dust? Or worse yet, serve as a clothes rack in the cellar. Perhaps you wanted to make a change in your love life so you declared “This is going to be a new day. I will start today to make a change!” but in just a few days you forget what it was you were so adamant about.

All of us do this at times. It does not mean there is anything wrong with you but it could signal that it is time to do things differently. I certainly have done this in my own life. I have struggled to be strong and stay the course, yet I was easily side tracked. Then I learned about accountability. I’m not saying my life is now perfect or without struggle. What I am saying is that with accountability my struggles are lessened.

Take a look at some statistics from the American Society of Training and Development that reveal the probability of successfully completing a goal:

• 10% if you hear an idea.
• 25% if you consciously decide to adopt it.
• 40% if you decide when you will do it.
• 50% if you plan how you will do it.
• 65% if you commit to someone else you will do it.
• 95% if you have a specific accountability appointment with a person to whom you committed. (like your Relationship Coach)

Isn’t this amazing? No wonder coaching is so powerful. 

Of course accountability is not the only aspect to ‘Singles Relationship Coaching’ and I am sure that is what you are interested in if you are reading this blog. Singles coaching offers such things as:

• Creating a life vision and purpose.
• Learning about the stages of love.
• Letting go of limiting beliefs.
• Discovering your personality traits and those you want in a partner.
• Defining your personal needs and wants.
• Making a strategic plan around your requirements in a relationship and moving you into action to have the partner of your dreams.

Do you have a relationship goal that you want to achieve? Perhaps these words will be true for you today: 

“Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I will begin today to create the life of my dreams.”

 

 Join Coach Judith for a free private (always confidential) coaching consultation and see if the Conscious Dating program is for you.  Call today 315.497.3059 or email.

 

 

By Judith Geiger

Be in Love Again Coach

Curiosity Killed the Cat

Curiosity Killed the Cat but Saved the Relationship.

When someone has been in a relationship for a long time (whether it is platonic or romantic) a strange pattern develops, often unnoticed. The focused curiosity about the other person disappears. It does not happen right away. At first everything a new love or friend has to say is the most interesting thing you have ever heard. Even their voice is lovely. You hold attention on their every word.

Slowly a strange pattern starts to emerge. I compare it to when you first learn to drive. Remember how hard it was to navigate that big curve the first time you rounded it a little too quickly? It truly took all of your attention the next time you drove over that road. I bet now you could take the curve at death defying speeds and not even remember you just passed that stretch of road. That is the strange pattern I am talking about—the lack of attention it takes to move through life or relationships. Our subconscious gets a workout every day. It is rather amazing how well it can guide us through life even though it is like being in a fog.

So what does this strange pattern do to our relationships?  Often we go into what I call ‘stall mode’. In stall mode, communication shuts down and we don’t hear a word the other person is saying. Why? We have lost our curiosity!!! Consciously or subconsciously we think we already know what they will say and how they will react so it is more efficient to jump ahead and act as if we already know. Yikes! How did this happen? Just the other day they were the most interesting person we knew and now we don’t want to pay attention to a word they say.

Curiosity may have killed the cat (as the old saying goes) but it surely can save a relationship. We can clear the fog in our relationships by simply by becoming aware it is there in the first place and then choosing to be lovingly curious. Try this little experiment and see what changes for you and your relationships. The next time you are aware that you are in stall mode make a conscious choice to shift it to a more active gear. Get as curious as you possibly can. Listen intently, ask questions and patiently wait for the complete answer.  Then before responding ask them these simple words, “Is there more?”  Wait again and be curious! This is your life and you get to choose how you want to live it. In an unconscious fog or actively curious!

By Judith Geiger

Be in Love Again Coach